A Compliation of Funny

Kid: So when I say "huh" it pretty much means that I'm bored of you talking.

 Me: Oh yeah?

 Kid: Yeah. I mean, it's not that YOU'RE boring. It's just that I pretty much know what I need to know...about life and stuff. I mean, I'm not little anymore you know. (Newly turned 8 y.o.)

 

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Kid: Jenn, is sex a bad word?

 Me: Uh. No, no it's not.

Kid: ok, well, what is sex?

Me: I think it's something I would like you to ask your Mom and Dad about.

 Kid: WHY does EVERYONE keep saying that? I mean, are they the experts on this sex shenanigan? (8 y.o.)

 

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Me (playing with play-doh dolphin): Hi, my name is Flipper! I like to do flips!

Kid: Jenn, I think you need to work on being more creative with your names. Your dolphin is now named HE-DOLPHIN, MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE! (8 y.o.)

 

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 Me: so what are you going to be for Halloween?

Kid: I'm going to be a tree so I can stick.

Me: (confused look)

Kid: yeah, how do like them apples? (6 y.o.)

 

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Mom: He got in trouble today for trying to sniff his friend's butt.

Me: (confused look)

Kid: WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?!?!! DOGS DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!! (7 yo)